S.U.M.O. Seminar

Paul McGee - The SUMO Guy - gave a seminar on 26 April 2008 at Canning Garden Methodist Church. Paul is an award winning author, international speaker, audio program presenter, motivational speaker, relationship expert and the creator of SUMO according to the brochure I got.

What made me go for that seminar was the title of one of his books - 'How to handle not strangle difficult people!' - because I had problems with that sometimes!

Well, at that seminar I learnt quite a bit. Paul proved to be good at presenting his ideas, besides being comical at the same time. Paul started with what SUMO meant - Shut Up, Move On

It meant to let go whatever it was bugging us so that we could move on with our life or we would be stuck at that point and not be able to enjoy our lives to the fullest.

E+R = O

E = event; R = response and O = outcome

An event would be something that happens to you like perhaps a fire gutted your house. The outcome would be you lose your house and all your belongings; which is disastrous. However your response while it will NOT change the outcome, will influence it in some way.

Paul shared 4 SUMO principles on how to respond so that outcomes are influenced positively:

A. Develop "fruity" thinking

The T.E.A.R. Method

T = thinking, E = emotions, A = actions and R = results.
The person we talk to the most is ourself. Our thinking affects our emotions which leads to actions and produces results; in other words Thinking affects how I feel, what I do and the results that I will get in life.

ALL of us are MAD - making a difference - no matter how small that difference may be.

Paul cited the example of a training he conducted for the employees of a company. A receptionist said that she would make no difference because she was only a part-timer; however she was wrong because she was the 1st contact with a customer whether or not she was a part-timer.

Develop "fruity" thinking rather than faulty thinking.

Faulty Thinking

1. The Inner Critic - would be your inner voice bashing yourself up each time you made a mistake
2. The Broken Record - would be going through that mistake over and over again and telling people about it all the time
3. The Martyr Syndrome - would be saying that you are the victim
4. Trivial pursuits - in other words making a mountain out of a mole hill.
   

The Brain

If we raised our left hand with fist clenched, and put our right hand over the clenced fist; it would figuratively "draw" the brain.
The left arm represent the primitive brain; the fist the emotional brain and the right hand, the rational brain.

The primitive brain is made up of:
a. fight or flee in dangerous situations
b. need for food
c. need for sex
these are unconscious, natural human responses.

The emotional brain controls our emotions, while the rational brain is what makes us think.

Sometimes we react using our primitive and emotional brain rather than our rational brain. Whether we use our primitive/emotional brain or our rational brain has a direct influence on the outcome of situations we are in.

"STRESS MAKES US STUPID" because we are not using our rational brain. So we need to take a time out to get back into rational mode.

B. Hippo Time is OK

Paul's rephrased 'time out' as 'hippo time' referring to the hippopotamus where the hippo wallows in the mud to keep cool. So it is OK for us to wallow when we are down BUT it is only temporarily so that we can MOVE ON. It is also the time to relax and play and to recover.

C. Remember the Beach Ball

A beach ball has many strips of colour on it - a person looking from one end will see different colours from another person looking at the other end. We see things with different perspectives. To have a good relationship we need to ask the following questions -

Question 1 - what is going on in their world at the moment?
Question 2 - what is important to them at this time?
Question 3 - do you listen to understand or listen to defend?

Listen to understand is NOT = listen to agree

We can agree to disagree.

Question 4 - have you clearly communicated your perspective?


D. Cape Diem - Seize the Day!

Paul ended the seminar with the words 'cape diem' which is latin for 'seize the day'. He ended with the note that when the opportunity is available for us, we should take it and not have faulty thinking to stop us.

For those who are interested to know more about Paul and his SUMO concept please click here. Of course what I have blogged is only the 'tip of the iceberg' - you need to listen to Paul to get the full benefit of S.U.M.O.!

Armish the little boy next door

Armish is 2.5 years old. He lives with his grandparents, uncle and Mano the cat. His parents are working in Kuala Lumpur and visit as often as they can.

This is the first time that I have had Sikhs for neighbours (not counting Armish's grand uncle who stayed next door earlier). Armish's grandpa Mr Mohinder, is a kindly and very helpful gentleman who always says that neighbours are his best friends. He is always ready to help; like looking after my dog Bernie when we are away.

Armish is a precocious little boy; very intelligent, the apple of his grandparents' eye though he drives them crazy with his antics!

Armish loves animals and rough houses with Mano the cat even though Mano hisses back sometimes! The other day, Armish decided to follow Mano under the car...while Mano exited the other side of the car; Armish stayed stuck and yelled his lungs out for grandma. Poor grandma was at her wits end, Armish kept crying and refused to come out so grandma had to pull him out by his legs......and poor Armish got small scratch on his back.

He was non the worse though, because later in the day he was telling me all about it in his baby language...car, car, car!

Armish is helping me know more about the Sikhs and their traditions, like when I asked his grandparents why Armish's eyes were smeared with something that looks like mascara. Armish makes me curious to know more because he is so different from children of my own race (Malaysian Chinese).

So when an article entitled 'Which Indians' came out on The Star, I found it very interesting and informative. Below is the article in full.


StarMag Sunday April 20, 2008
Which Indians?
By MARTIN VENGADESAN

To non-Indians, there are just Indians. Ask an ‘Indian’ what he is, though, and he would say he’s a Malayalee, or a Telegu, or any one of the other language-specific communities, of which there is a bewilderingly large number.

A YOUNG Sikh man and a young Ceylonese woman fell in love. They courted secretly for years until they finally decided that they wished to marry. The nervous couple parted to return home and break the news to their respective families, and were greeted, amidst much gnashing of teeth and pulling of hair, by the identical chastisement: “Why lah you have to go and marry an Indian!”

Now that particular little nugget may be an urban legend, but there is some validity to the assertion that many of the different Indian communities view themselves as having a separate identity of their own that should be recognised by others.

This view is held not just in India, which is home to many of the world’s religions and boasts more than 20 official languages, but also all over the world where there are Indian communities, including in Malaysia where Indians are a significant minority.

Surely that view is justified, for after all, who in his right mind expects homogeneity in a region of nearly 1.5 billion people (if you factor in Pakistan, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, and Nepal)?
But as Indians move away from traditions (some of which, some might argue, are poisonous ones) like the caste system and arranged marriages, just how much of the Indian sub-continent’s rich and varied history is being lost to current generations?

Two recent developments brought this question to the fore.

The first was a faux pas committed by newly elected Perak Mentri Besar Mohammad Nizar Jamaluddin who last Sunday mistakenly referred to the Sikh community as Bengali, when indeed the community has its roots in Punjab (see map, right).
Another was the almost bewildering confluence of religious festivals that occurred over the last two weeks – Vaisakhi, Poila Boishakh, Ugadi, Vishu, and the Tamil New Year also coincided with Thailand’s Songkran festival and other regional celebrations.

The Punjabi/Bengali difference
As I attempted a thorough investigation into this vast realm, I soon became overwhelmed by the sheer diversity of the various Indic peoples (generally divided into the northern Indo-Aryan and southern Dravidian groups).

For example, I learnt that there are Punjabis who don’t practice Sikhism but who come from the same geographical region and speak the same language as the Sikhs. These Punjabis are Hindus, so one cannot factually say that to be Punjabi and to be Sikh are synonymous. And there are Punjabis who are Muslim and Christian, too.

Malaysia Hindu Sangam president Datuk A. Vaithilingam explains that confusion over the specific race, religion, and language of the various Indian communities is nothing new, and that the Punjabi/Bengali error is a particularly common one.

“Many Malaysians make that mistake. This has been an error that dates back to the British colonial era when many Sikhs were brought to Malaya.
“Through some form of miscommunication, perhaps because the Sikhs came through the Bengali port of Calcutta, this incorrect title has continued to be applied.”

A variety of responses to the issue have emerged.
Khalsa Dharmic Jatha Gurdwara vice-president Baljit Singh was very displeased: “That utterance (by the MB) has made the Sikhs a laughing stock of other communities,” he was quoted as saying in The Star on Tuesday.

Dr Sarjit S. Gill, Universiti Putra Malaysia’s professor of Social Anthropology, adopts an altogether different stance, though: “I view the MB’s statement as a blessing in disguise because I welcome the debate. I don’t think we should blame him. Firstly, we should blame ourselves, especially the Sikh organisations and gurdwaras (temples) in Malaysia.
“I have attended many seminars and programmes conducted by Sikhs in Malaysia where non-Sikhs are not invited to join in simply because we do not want ‘others’ to know our problems. So how can we get upset if we are a closed community and other groups don’t understand us well enough?”

However, network engineer Nirmal Singh feels that our nation’s political leaders should make more of an effort to understand the various communities.

“I am used to this sort of ignorance, but while I have seen it among children and young adults, I didn’t expect a political leader to make such a gaffe. There is a huge difference between Punjabis and Bengalis.”

Nirmal Singh does admit, however, that he himself is not very well-versed in the differences between other Indian communities such as the Tamils, Malayalees, Telugus, etc: “I suppose because we have a different religion we expect others to understand the differences.” (Tamils, Malayalees, and Telugus are usually Hindus.)

The same, yet different?
Such confusion is probably aided and abetted by the plethora of Indian festivals.

The Hindu Sangam’s Vaithilingam explains that festivals are one of the best examples of both the commonalities and differences between Indian communities.

“Many regions of India have their own unique festivals, although often they might be linked. Telugus celebrate Ugadi according to the lunar calendar whereas Tamils follow the solar calendar. Songkran and many similar festivals in Cambodia, Laos, and Sri Lanka occur at around the same time because they followed the Singhalese New Year (which is based on the lunar calendar).”

Dr Krishanan Maniam, an associate professor in Universiti Malaya’s (UM) Department of Indian Studies, explains that the community’s representation in Malaysia differs vastly from that in India.

“It’s true that Indians in Malaysia come from various parts of India but a vast majority of them are from the south of India, (the state of) Tamil Nadu specifically. You also have significant numbers of Telegus, Malayalees, Kannadas, and so on.” (See map for where these people come from within India.)
Because, historically, Tamils formed a majority among Malaysian Indians, they soon became linguistically dominant among the South Indian communities: “Even though (the south Indians) brought many languages to the country, in Malaysia, Tamil became the lingua franca among the South Indians. This meant that Telegu-speaking families, for example, eventually became more fluent in Tamil!”

Prof N. Kanthasamy, who is also with UM’s Indian Studies Department, feels that while the differences between the various Indian communities should be studied and appreciated, they should not be over-emphasised.

“I think in a modern, progressive Malaysia we should try to overcome our differences and think of ourselves as Malaysians first. If we harp on these traditional factors too much we are back to square one.”

Still he does concede that the study of Indian history reveals many fascinating common points.

“If you look at history, you will see why the differences can be confusing. In India itself, during the Chola dynasty, which lasted many centuries (from the 9th to 12th centuries), the whole of Southern India was under one rule.

“During this time, the Tamil language became dominant, and it is the root language from which the other South Indian languages sprang.”

In fact, there are even a few Tamil words like kapal (ship), tali (string), and raja (king) that have influenced the Malay language!

“Since that time,” explains Prof Kanthasamy, “there have been numerous separations and unifications of (states in) southern India, and it was only as recently as the 1950s that Madras State became split along the lines of language.

“From that, you had the emergence of the Telugu-, Kannada-, and Malayalee-speaking states (Andhra Pradesh, Karnataka, and Kerala, respectively).

“When people from these peoples came to Malaysia in large waves under the British, these groups were all classified as Indian, without much distinction.

Aside from sheer numbers, another reason that Tamils and their language may seem dominant in Malaysia is that the Telegu, Malayalee, and Punjabi language schools that existed up until the late 1970s eventually closed down, Prof Kanthasamy explains.
“These communities scattered, and there wasn’t enough enrolment in their schools, whereas the Tamils have had the numbers to keep their schools going.”

Maintaining identities
Dr S. Kumaran, another Indian Studies department expert, feels that the “dilution” of tradition is inevitable
“Unlike Indians from India, Malaysian Indians are not always well-schooled in tradition. In most cases, we cannot identify each other’s community visually, and so we rely on language, and even that can be mixed up.

“And let’s not forget that even at home, many Indians choose to speak English over their mother tongue.
“Still, to those who do follow tradition, there are true differences, especially in India. Each community will very often have its unique traditional clothing, ways of preparing food, and so on.

“The Malayalees, for example, might tie their saris differently, cook certain dishes unique to their community, and celebrate, say, Onam, but, again, some of these traditions don’t survive very strongly in modern Malaysia.”

Even names don’t necessarily offer much of a clue about a person’s roots anymore: “In Malaysia we have left behind the culture of using clan names like Rao and Naidu for Telegus, and Nair and Menon for Malayalees,” explains Dr Krishanan.

As Malaysia’s Indian society moves away from traditionalist mores that still hold sway in parts of India, we can expect a further blurring of communal lines, says Prof Kanthasamy.
“Intermarriage across communities is another factor that is breaking down such barriers.

“While you do have certain staunch traditionalists, many Indians are marrying outside their community and, often, outside their race,” he says.
“Arranged marriages are on the way out, and people tend to chose their own partners, perhaps based on educational and economic background more than race, language or even religion.”

So why then is there a need to focus on what makes us culturally unique? That there is some need is underlined by the irate mail that is quick to arrive at The Star whenever someone from outside the communities makes a mistake and glosses everyone with the same “Indian” brush.

“Economic factors might be a reason that communities in Malaysia might still want to emphasise their differences,” muses Prof Kanthasamy.
“For example, while many Indian Tamils originally came here in the late 19th century and first half of the 20th century as indentured labourers, the Malayalees and Ceylonese Tamils were brought in to perform more ‘educated’, white collar jobs, such as clerical work. “Thus, there may be a desire to maintain that socio-economic distinction.

“Nowadays, as the communities become more prosperous, they may also feel more confident about exploring and safe-guarding their roots.

“I believe even Astro has played a part in arousing interest as it offers programmes for Telegu and Malayalee speakers.”

Festive fervour
THERE are hundreds of festivals celebrated throughout the sub-continent. These are some that Malaysians might be familiar with, as South Asian communities living in this country mark them. Dates indicated are for this year.

• Ponggal – Tamil harvest festival (Jan 14)
• Thaipusam – South Indian festival honouring Lord Muruga (Jan 23)
• Holi – North Indian “festival of colours” celebrating the first full moon of spring (March 22)
• Gudi Padwa – Maharashtrian New Year (April 6)
• Ugadi – Telugu and Kannada New Year (April 7)
• Puthandu – Tamil New Year (April 13)
• Vaisakhi – Commemorates both the establishment of the Khalsa (collective body of Sikhs baptised by Guru Gobind Singh in 1699) and the harvest festival (April 14)
• Poila Boishakh – Bengali New Year (April 14)
• Vishu – Malayalee New Year (April 14)
• Onam – Malayalee harvest festival (Sept 12)
• Navaratri – Nine-day festival commemorating goddess Durga (Sept 29)
• Deepavali – Festival of Lights (Oct 28)

Planning a Swiss Vacation

Contents

1. The flights
2. The airports
3. Travelling in Switzerland
4. Accomodation in Switerzerland
5. Places we visited

The flights
I would call my travel agent to find me the best prices on flights. (Helena is a really good agent - very patient and resourceful. She works with First Travel, Ipoh. If you would like her services, drop me an email).

The short of it is this:

• Etihad (www.etihadairways.com) official airways of United Arab Emirates had the cheapest fare BUT it had a transit time of about 13 hours in Abu Dhabi.
• Qatar Airways (www.qatarairways.com) was the next choice - transit time of 2 hours in Doha slightly more expensive than Etihad but worth the time saved.
  
• MAS (www.malaysiaairlines.com) was the most pricey at about RM5,000 return but it was a direct flight and therefore took up the least time

We decided on Qatar Airways as the most cost effective. The food was good and the service excellent. The crew is an international crew; I learnt from an air stewardess that Qatar women are not allowed to work.

The Airports

• KLIA (Kuala Lumpur International Airport
• It is a huge airport with many duty free outlets and as many gates.
• Note: if you transit at Doha, you may not bring in any wine or alcohol. We thought the ban was because Doha was a muslim city but we were proved wrong when we arrived in Doha
  
• Doha International Airport
• Small airport, still using shuttle buses.
• Only 1 duty free shop but a very popular one doing brisk business.
• They sold liquor and, we found at much cheaper prices than at KLIA what with the lower exchange rate.
  
• Geneva International Airport
• A small airport though a busy one due to Geneva's unique status since the United Nations is located there.
  
• Don't buy anything in their duty free shop unless you have a higher exchange rate to the Swiss Franc (CHF). Though the CHF had a lower exchange rate compared to the EURO, the standard of living is high in Switzerland.

Travelling in Switzerland
To get a head start on where to go and what to do, I would start by searching a tour agent's website for their itinerary.

Then I would Google the country's official tourism website and read up more on what I have garnered from the itinerary.

The best way to travel in Switzerland is using their public transport. Switzerland has the densest public transport in the world and their precision is well known.

Switzerland's travel system has many products depending on your needs. We chose the Swiss Pass as we would be travelling most of the time. The Pass has a discount if 2 or more people are travelling together. It provides unlimited travel on train, bus and boat with free entry to 400 museums. For prices check out the link above.

Our experience on the GoldenPass Line was a surprise as they gave away CHF10 vouchers just because the trip was delayed by 15 minutes. The voucher is exchangeable against selected GoldenPass Line services.

Accomodation in Switerzerland
Accomodation in Switzerland is expensive. In Tasch, a town just 10 minutes by train to Zermatt at the foothills of the famous Matterhorn; a small room with ensuite shower cost CHF140 per night per room (peak period) with breakfast. Breakfast was a simple affair; bread, cheese and cereals. We used Active Hotels to book the room - payment was made at the hotel not at the time of booking.

Places we visited